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She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry.
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I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). But these people meant a lot to a huge number of people. I know it isn’t my place, since I’m just a speck of dust in the wind in your lives. To end this extremely long rant, I just want to apologize to the families of these idols, and to all the families of idols that have died or disappeared.
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Industries need to ensure the mental and physical safety of their idols. They shouldn’t feel like they need to commit to something so drastic and permanent. We (especially those in charge with higher power than us) need to ensure everybody feels safe, and loved, and important. We never know when the next death is, when another idol will be taken from us, from their families. While her ex had abused her, nobody would help (I read there was a tape somewhere that got posted onto a male website somewhere as well? and that instead of sending help, the people on the site just watched and moved on). But with Goo Hara, an even worse scenario because of sexual harassment, I’m pretty sure Korea isn’t taking the sexualization of female K-Idols that seriously. Now, maybe it was because of different reasons right? Not simply just sexism. Especially with that one account that kept posting about how they were happy Sulli commited suicide and how she was doing it for attention (Link of the video I found these tweets in : here ) Even though she went through the same media bashing as Jonghyun, she was getting beat down harder for it. Meanwhile, when Sulli passed away, there were multiple threats aimed towards her and her family. Not towards him (thankfully, of course, that he wasn’t one of these victims to fall under the spiteful judgment of Netizens). When his suicide note was allowed into the public, people were only sending hate towards the company he worked under. When Jonghyun decided to take his own life, I wasn’t seeing any hate comments or “thank g*d he’s gone.” “Took him long enough.” “He’s just trying to get attention.” anywhere. Now, we all know feminism isn’t everywhere so I’m not saying Korea is socially unjust because of its lack of equal gendered rights, but it’s how they treat certain scenarios differently. Men are seen as the more respected and loved people in Korea, while women are simply below them. While I love Korea and their culture and want to be as respectful as I possibly can be when making these statements and opinions, I believe social standards are completely unfair towards women. Here’s the thing about sexism and mistreatment of idols in Korea. I just wanted to contribute to the bringing of light towards Sulli, Hara, and Jonghyun– who passed away a few years ago, while Sulli and Hara are as recent as this and last month. So, in spite of my absence, I’m sorry for this to be one of the first posts after my months long dissapearance.